woman struggling with thoughts of suicide

Asking for help can be extremely difficult. But it’s important to know that help is always at hand and speaking up is not burdening someone else with your troubles.

Even if you don’t feel that you can confide in those around you, there are support services available 24 hours a day, with professionals trained to help. You don’t have to go through difficult feelings alone.

In particular, Samaritans is the leading organisation making sure there's always someone there, and if you’d like to know a little more about how a Samaritan could be there for you, listening and not judging, read the blog recently penned by a member of our client team.

Here are 5 ways to help you manage feelings of suicide:

Simplify reaching out for support

Choose a key person that you trust and can reach by text with short words or emojis that signal to them you are struggling. This is a good way to get help when you can’t or don’t want to say much. This short contact with a key person who understands can make a big difference in helping you get safe support quickly.

two men hugging to symbolise reaching out for support

Make a suicide prevention plan

If you become aware of suicidal thoughts that are more than fleeting, it is crucial to have a safety plan. This can be done with a mental health professional, but also with a compassionate friend or family member. Follow this simple template.

Learn how to manage difficult feelings

Set yourself small, achievable goals. Three short term goals are a good starting point.

Allow yourself to feel. Develop your emotional awareness and allow yourself to feel your feelings so you can identify the more challenging ones earlier and interrupt the build up. Suppressing your feelings can cause them to build up over time and make them even harder to cope with. Think about what caused you to feel suicidal and share this with people supporting you.

Learn your triggers. What are your external triggers in terms of situations, people and the wider world? What are your internal triggers in terms of thoughts, feelings, sensations, memories? Keeping a diary can help you to find patterns in your mood over time and help you to think about what might be causing you to feel suicidal.

Don't blame yourself. Many people who have tried or thought about taking their life feel guilty afterwards, especially if they have worried loved ones. Try to accept that was just how you were feeling and with help this will change and others are happy you are still with them.

Take each day one at a time. There will be good days and bad days as in any life. Try to understand how to regulate and soothe your emotions and become more aware of your thinking, and ensure you communicate with others to counterbalance too many negative interpretations. This will make a difference.

Try to soothe the pain

Suicidal feelings are distressing, painful and powerful and it’s important to find ways to calm and soothe the pain that are personal and work for you. This is especially the case in moments of crisis, when clear thinking is compromised. Soothing activities are usually things that help us focus more intently on our senses and help us return to reality in the moment:

Vision: Photos of supportive friends or family, a favourite DVD, book or magazine, a picture of a beautiful safe place, a reminder for funny or inspiring YouTube videos, the link or name of a guided visualisation meditation of walking on a beach or in a forest (many can be found on-line).

Hearing: Soothing or inspiring music on CD or digital music player, recordings of a friend’s voice, reminder of phone numbers to ring, a talking book.

Smell or taste: Favourite essential oils to mindfully sniff, a fruity snack or treat, sour sweets, favourite perfume, a sachet of coffee or other favourite smell or taste.

Touch: Soft woolly socks or blanket, cuddly toy, comforter or grounding object like a rough or smooth stone, hand or foot lotion, massage oil, warm bubble bath, nail varnish.

Look around you and notice what you see (colours, shapes, light or shadow, movement), what you hear (nature sounds, sounds near and far), what you smell or taste (including from the environment around you), and what you can touch – right now, wherever you are.

Build self-care into your life

Write a letter to yourself. Include happy memories and mention the people who love and care about you. This can be helpful to read when you are experiencing suicidal feelings to remind yourself that things can get better

Make plans to look forward to. It doesn't have to be something big like a holiday but scheduling time with loved ones, booking tickets to a music or art event or joining a club can help you to feel more positive about the future

Celebrate yourself and really appreciate some of the things you do
Do things just for yourself, like exercising, playing an instrument, spending half an hour reading a book, doing a hobby or taking up a new one, try to regularly make time to do the things you enjoy
Ensure that you get enough sleep and have a regular bedtime routine
Food and mood are definitely related so put some focus on good nutrition