The extrovert to my introvert

The phrase ‘opposites attract’ springs to mind when we think about introvert-extrovert relationships. There are different ways to interpret this, one of which could be that you are adding much needed balance to each other's lives.  

"Extroverts report that introverts give them permission to explore their serious, introspective sides," said Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, who continued, "Introverts, on the other hand, often feel grateful that their extroverted partners make the atmosphere light-hearted and casual – and that they do so much of the talking."

When we talk about introverts and extroverts it’s very important to note that these words are not just descriptions for ‘shy’ or ‘outgoing’; it’s far more complex than that. I’ve come across numerous outgoing introverts, or sometimes reserved extroverts - we cannot be boxed. The main point of difference between extroverts and introverts is mainly around how they choose to ‘recharge their internal batteries’. Extroverts tend to like being in the company of others and find it comforting whereas a natural introvert will recharge alone in a peaceful environment - but (like me) you can be a smidgeon of both.

“Extroverts report that introverts give them permission to explore their serious, introspective sides.”

— Susan Cain

Below, are some tell-tell signs that you are in an introvert-extrovert relationship. If these resonate with you, can you define whether you are the introvert or extrovert in your relationship?

After an argument you internalise and think, but your partner wants a resolution immediately.

We all have different ways of responding during disagreements. While introverted people tend to need time to process, extroverts often like to think out loud, involving others in their thought process, resolving conflict swiftly.

Sometimes you arrive separately at events so you can leave early, allowing your partner to continue socialising.  

If you are more of a solitary being you might find small talk, or meeting new people quite draining - quite the opposite to extroverts who flourish in this sort of environment.

You love your ‘me-time’, but your partner gets rather bored when they are alone.

It’s easy for an extroverted person to be slightly offended when their introverted partner craves some ‘me-time’, but they shouldn't. It’s just a wholly different way of finding solace and rejuvenation, and more often than not after introverts have spent some time alone they will be more energised and happier.  

It always fascinates you how easily your partner can make random friends.

Extroverted people have a knack of making new pals- on the bus, in a queue somewhere - wherever they can find them! However, introverts are ‘slow burners’ and the connection with others takes longer, but often might become more meaningful in the long-run.

Read more of our emotional awareness articles.