Coping with Summertime Loneliness
This week marks Loneliness Awareness Week (12th-18th June) in the UK and, amidst a pleasant upturn in the weather, I thought it very fitting to discuss the topic of summertime loneliness.
But, it’s summer…how could anyone feel lonely?
We may feel that because the sun is shining, all our problems should suddenly melt away. We may feel societal pressure to always be social and outdoorsy, simply because “it’s summer“. We may feel embarrassed to tell people that we are feeling lonely because, well, it seems silly to feel lonely when it’s so nice out, right?
So here’s a reminder that your feelings are not invalidated if you are experiencing loneliness this summer. Whatever the weather, we may all experience periods of loneliness, which may indeed lead to other mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, eating disorders and insomnia:
60% of people suffering from chronic loneliness experience mental distress (Gov UK, 2023)
Loneliness can elevate blood pressure and induce acute stress (Brown, Gallagher and Creaven, 2018)
Loneliness can result in ‘poorer sleep quality’ in the young adult population (Matthews et al., 2017)
We often associate loneliness and its associated mental health issues with the cold, wet winter months when we’re stuck indoors, weather and daylight restricting our time spent outdoors. Yet warmer days and shorter nights certainly don’t mean we stop feeling lonely, and for many they can actually have the opposite effect…
Loneliness at this time of year is particularly rife in the younger generations, with FOMO (fear of missing out) shown to increase during the summer. Social media users eagerly document every exciting moment of travel and holiday, every festival, every BBQ, every day out. And we simply can’t help but compare our own lives to that of others who look like they’re having more fun. This often gives rise to feelings of isolation, reduced confidence and lower self-esteem.
And the more we let these feelings and agitation build up, the more they may lead to anxiety, depression, insomnia. While as a society we are making positive steps in breaking down mental health stigma, summertime loneliness remains a topic little discussed and so we may feel this sense of shame or embarrassment to open up to others.
So how do we break this cycle and combat our loneliness?
Are we aware of our loneliness? Can we identify the source of it? For some, it might be really difficult to put a finger on it. For others, it may be quite clear; it’s just we’re not sure how to deal with it.
For the younger generations, it usually comes back to social media. Here we must try to remember that what we see on social media are only the highlights. These platforms are places where we present the “best version” of ourselves, and certainly where we are unlikely to post photos of ourselves crying over our desks at work because we have one weekend in August with no plans!
For others, you may have recently moved neighbourhood, live alone, work remotely, live with an existing physical or mental health condition. Whatever your background and whatever triggers your feelings of loneliness, we can all take simple steps to combat it:
Don’t try to ‘combat’ the loneliness at all. Instead, sit with it - this may initially sound strange, but allowing ourselves the time to become aware of and reflect on these feelings is half ‘the battle’. We may become suddenly aware of previously undefined triggers or realise that we were getting caught up in our emotions and catastrophising.
An attitude of gratitude - when we feel lonely we are quick to overlook the positive. Ask yourself: what am I grateful for? Visualise a time or place in your mind where you felt truly happy. Write down what you’re excited for this summer. You may find that the positive soon drowns out the negative.
Practise self-compassion - with loneliness often comes reduced confidence and lower self-esteem. We often start to self-criticise and neglect all our positive traits and qualities. Increasing positive self-talk and limiting social comparisons can be extremely powerful antidotes to loneliness.
Embrace having an empty weekend in your calendar - not having constant social plans isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Whether you’re an introvert, extrovert or ambivert, our mind and body need time to rest and recharge, particularly in the summer heat. A free diary may also result in last-minute, spontaneous plans, which can often turn out to be the most fun.
Treasure solo experiences - from a simple walk in nature to a solo backpacking trip, time alone can actually be very empowering. We realise that we don’t have to miss out on life experiences just because we may have to do certain things alone. And whatever the solo experience may be, you might just surprise yourself with who you might end up meeting.
Make connections - start a new hobby, message that old friend, volunteer in the local community. Stereotypical suggestions? Perhaps. But they are powerfully effective in boosting mood, building a sense of purpose and reducing feelings of loneliness.
Helpful tools:
See how you can get involved in the Loneliness Awareness Week campaign - download help resources, explore events and fundraising, share your story. See also the Campaign to End Loneliness for more insight into the types of loneliness, their impacts, and a bank of facts and statistics.
