Coping through Covid

We’ve experienced some stressful situations in recent weeks and months, leaving many people feeling like they’re unable to cope. The ways we deal with these situations – our coping mechanisms – can vary, and if we’re not careful, be just as harmful as the bad experiences themselves.

Some coping mechanisms are positive ones. They are beneficial, useful and constructive, producing a positive outcome. However, others are negative and rooted in damaging, unhealthy and harmful mechanisms. 

While I didn’t realise it at the time, I opted for negative coping mechanisms at the beginning of the pandemic. This is because, while they don’t offer long-term solutions to problems, negative coping mechanisms produce an immediate effect, one that reduces your stress in the short term.

Prior to the pandemic, I had a busy schedule, with university classes and part-time (sometimes full-time) jobs taking up much of my attention. I didn’t place much importance on my daily habits because I always felt like I had ‘more important’ things to do. When the UK entered a national lockdown in March, I had no idea how to respond to stress in a healthy way.

I didn’t place much importance on my daily habits because I always felt like I had ‘more important’ things to do.

I starting smoking, drinking a little more alcohol than I should, excessive eating and shopping to get a sense of relief, albeit short-lived. Whilst on furlough, these unhealthy habits kept me occupied.

Needless to say, my financial, physical and mental health ended up suffering as a result of this, even my sleep pattern changed. While these actions cause little harm when performed in moderation, they can be extremely harmful when we’re talking about prolonged periods of time.

As the pandemic affected our lives more and more, the ‘new normal’ meant my day was no longer structured by my commitments to university and work. As time went on, it became harder to ignore the impact that these habits were having on my health; or more accurately my ill health. I noticed my wellbeing declining, whereas pre-pandemic I simply didn’t have the same amount of time available to me to notice my daily habits and feelings.

To cope with the changes, I’ve been paying closer attention to my stressors. I made a decision to fight my pre-existing habits and work on building healthier coping skills. The importance of spending time outside, appreciating nature, has become clear which is why it became my first priority. I am fortunate to have a nature reserve close to my house and explore it every day with my family dog.

Most importantly, I stuck to it, even when I got really frustrated. Which I did many times, especially when looking for jobs and facing constant employer rejection. Just like many other job-seekers, I would often fall into the rabbit hole of negative thinking and self-criticism.

This is where my new coping skills came in handy. Instead of smoking or beating myself up, I would try to distract myself by going for a walk, taking a long bath, reading a book or practising mindful thinking. I would try various breathing techniques, clearing my mind and focusing on my positive qualities, rather than negative ones.

While all of these tips sound fairly simple, it takes repetition for it to start working. We need to recognize our stressors and pick appropriate actions that ‘soften’ these negative emotions. Healthy coping skills will look different for everyone, but I feel that ultimately, the more of these tools we have, the more resilient we become.

Developing healthy coping skills have been my salvation in getting through the last year. I am now better at identifying my negative thoughts, as well as using appropriate tools to tolerate, minimise, and deal with these situations.

Last year has brought many challenges to my life, but it also gave me the time to reflect on my daily habits and actions. It gave me the chance to build more resilience – for which I am grateful and feel ready to tackle new challenges that come with the new year. 

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Optimism: The light at the end of the tunnel

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Planting the seeds for post-traumatic growth