‘Creating hope through action’: World Suicide Prevention Day
How to become a beacon of light to those in pain
Most people’s primary concern when it comes to discussing suicide with someone in pain is the assumption that you are giving them ideas by talking about suicide. In fact, the very opposite is true: bringing up the subject of suicide and discussing it openly is perhaps the most helpful thing you can do; it really can be life-saving. So how do you start the discussion?
APPROACH – Approach gently and with calmness. Ask if you can help and let them know what you have noticed about them that is of concern to you.
LISTEN – Listen actively, give your full attention, and be as empathic as you can.
ASK – Ask if they are having suicidal thoughts. If they answer yes, ask if they have thought how they would do it - do they have a plan? This will indicate how intentional they are.
SUPPORT - Do not judge them. Be as supportive as you can. Offer them hope and help them to call the Samaritans 116 123, a friend, a family member, their GP or the local NHS mental health crisis team to get further assistance. Be ready to call 999 or go to Accident & Emergency if the situation is serious and all else is failing.
DON’T - Don’t ask why, don’t act shocked, don’t lecture about the value of life, don’t be sworn to secrecy, but always share someone’s thoughts of suicide with someone who knows how to get help.
* Please seek help if you are experiencing any of these issues *
How to manage feelings of suicide in yourself
Asking for help can be extremely difficult. But it’s important to know that speaking up is not burdening someone else with your troubles. Help is always at hand.
Even if you don’t feel that you can seek support from those around you, there are support services available to you 24 hours a day, with professionals trained to help. You do not have to go through difficult feelings alone.
Samaritans is the leading organisation making sure that there is always someone there to help. You can learn more about how a Samaritan could be there for you, listening and not judging.
Here are 5 ways to help you manage feelings of suicide:
1) Simplify reaching out for support
Choose someone that you trust and can reach by text, even if only with short words or emojis, to signal to them you are struggling. This is a good way to get help when you can’t or don’t want to say much. This short contact with a key person who understands can make a big difference in helping you get safe support quickly.
2) Make a suicide prevention plan
If you become aware of suicidal thoughts that are more than fleeting, it is crucial to formulate a safety plan, whether this be with a mental health professional or a compassionate friend or family member. See this simple template for making a safety plan.
3) Learn how to manage difficult feelings
Set yourself small and achievable goals. Three short term goals are a good starting point.
Allow yourself to feel. Developing your emotional awareness and allowing yourself to feel your feelings helps you to identify rather than suppress the challenging feelings, before they build up excessively and become harder to cope with. Think about what caused you to feel suicidal and share this with people supporting you.
Learn your triggers: externally, in terms of situations, people and the wider world; internally, in terms of thoughts, feelings, sensations, memories. Try keeping a diary - this can help you to find patterns in your mood over time and to think about what might be causing you to feel suicidal.
Don't blame yourself. Many people who have thought about or tried committing suicide will feel guilty afterwards, especially if they have worried loved ones. Try to accept that was just how you were feeling at the time and with help this will change, and others are happy you are still with them.
Take each day one at a time. There will be good days and bad days, as in any life. Try to understand how to regulate and soothe your emotions and become more aware of your thinking. Ensure you communicate with others to counterbalance too many negative interpretations. This will make a difference.
4) Try to soothe the pain
Suicidal feelings are distressing, painful and powerful. It’s important to find ways to calm and soothe the pain that are personal and work for you. This is especially the case in moments of crisis, when clear thinking is compromised. Soothing activities are usually things that help us focus more intently on our senses and help us return to reality in the moment:
Vision: Photos of a favourite holiday, beautiful safe place, or of supportive friends or family, a favourite DVD, book or magazine, funny or inspiring YouTube videos, guided visualisation meditation of walking on a beach or in a forest (many can be found online).
Hearing: Soothing or inspiring music, recordings of a friend’s voice, reminder of phone numbers to ring, an Audible book.
Smell or taste: A favourite herb, spice, snack or treat, a favourite perfume, a sachet of coffee or other favourite smell or taste.
Touch: Soft woolly socks or blanket, cuddly toy, comforter or grounding object like a rough or smooth stone, hand or foot lotion, massage oil, warm bubble bath, nail varnish.
Look around you and notice what you see (colours, shapes, light or shadow, movement), what you hear (sounds of nature, sounds near and far), what you smell or taste (including from the environment around you), and what you can touch – right now, wherever you are.
5) Build self-care into your life
Write a letter to yourself. Include happy memories and mention the people who love and care about you. If you are experiencing suicidal feelings, reading this back will help to remind yourself that things can get better
Make plans that you can look forward to. It doesn't have to as big as booking a holiday; scheduling time with loved ones, booking tickets to an art or music event or joining a club can help you to feel more positive about the future
Celebrate yourself and really appreciate some of the things you do and what you achieved
Do things just for yourself - exercising, playing an instrument, reading a book, doing a hobby or taking up a new one. Making time to do the things you enjoy will boost your mood
Ensure that you get at least 7 hours of sleep each night, which is aided by establishing a regular bedtime and wake time
Focus on obtaining good nutrition and avoiding excessive alcohol or caffeine consumption
For more information on WSPD 2023, including events and fundraisers, see: