Dealing with a possible health crisis on a national and international scale, is not something we are familiar with and it is something that we deal with differently, depending on our personalities and experiences.  This can make relationships at home and work vulnerable to disruption due to underlying beliefs and different points of view on how to manage an uncertain situation and the anxiety that arises.  If the danger was clear, imminent and it was absolutely necessary to follow specific advice, then everyone would be obliged to behave in the same way in order to save lives.

However, although this is a global pandemic, there is, at the time of writing, still a small amount of infectious cases relative to the population in the UK.  There are many people who do not feel there is a danger, and are not as worried as others who can see nothing but danger ahead.

It is really important that we respect all the individual perspectives and recognise that we are all different, but we all want this crisis to be managed and pass.  Helping and considering each other in whatever way we can, is the most beneficial thing we can do. 

Someone who is vulnerable to disease or has suffered through family illness or loss will understandably feel more anxious than someone who has not been impacted in this way.  Some people are able to ignore and push away any difficult thoughts and feelings that arise, it’s the way they always cope with things and appear to be unaffected, but many others will become overwhelmed by worried thoughts and feelings.

Coronavirus is a real concern for those who already struggle with anxiety disorders. Those with health anxiety will be hugely impacted with escalating fears of becoming seriously ill.  Individuals prone to frequent checking or obsessive, compulsive behaviours and fears of contamination will also be prone to worsening mental health. PTSD sufferers may become even more vigilant and panic attacks triggered more frequently in people who are prone to them. Compassion from those around these groups, from family to employers, will be essential.  Being supportive of those who will be under greater stress or who are worried about loved ones, is something we all can do.

So, what might happen when these conflicting views, perspectives and feelings clash in relationships at home and at work?

At work, difficulties will occur when the employer is less concerned than the employee who feels anxious about having to still come into work.  An employer should listen to any concerns and needs to put health and safety procedures in place, such as providing washing facilities, sanitiser, and tissues. If you have an anxiety condition, talk to your employer about this and hopefully, they will try to help with flexible or home working. If you feel ill with flu-like symptoms it is important to speak to your employer as soon as possible, call 111, and self-isolate.  But, if you are not ill and refuse to attend work after unsuccessfully trying to negotiate home working, it could result in disciplinary action according to ACAS, so make sure you familiarise yourself with the terms of work. If the employer decides its employees can work from home or work flexibly, then the worry and stress factor for all staff is reduced in the short term, but economic worries may surface in the longer term for the business. 

At home clashing views are likely to cause disagreement and arguments about what the right action to take is. If one partner isn’t as cautious as the other then there is going to be an increase in anxiety in the worried partner, who may feel they are being put unnecessarily at risk, by the other.  The less concerned partner may feel aggrieved at having to do things in a way they don’t think is necessary.  It is important to listen to each other to open up communication channels and work together to understand and accept the differing points of view. We can use the other view to counter-balance for best effect, with the optimistic and less worried people reassuring the anxious, and the anxious in turn cautioning the over-optimism that increases risk of contamination. 

A certain amount of anxiety is normal and actually advantageous in minimising spread, but understanding the more extreme anxiety, even if you are not anxious yourself, will help you help those friends, families and work colleagues who do feel this way. When there is much that is out of our control and we feel helpless, there are things that we can do to give a sense of control in our immediate life where we have influence. 

Doing things that are practically useful, being familiar with anxiety and knowing what to do that helps, is part of keeping a sense of control and balance.